Saturday, 4 November 2017

I thought there would be Cake by Katharine Welby-Roberts



Katharine offers a very personal and vulnerable account focused on practical advise about hope to cope better with the mix of depression, anxiety and self-doubt.

For me she perhaps talks about God too much although she is honest about the ways in which Church can be part of the problem when in theory it should be being part of the solution.

While I found it difficult to warm to this book it was really helpful in moving me another step along the journey to admitting that I have “anxiety” as a thing and that most of my current [gin-based] coping strategies are unhealthy.

In particular she introduced me to the concept of a “replay” - the concept is new to me but the experience isn't. I do that all the time – that I sometimes lie in bed and replay and beat myself up about things I did 20 years+ ago is not normal – and that acknowledgement is progress.

That I remember every failure and have forgotten every success – that I am driven by the desire not to end up looking stupid – ending up looking ridiculous because I am tongue-tied by the fear that what I would say would reveal my inner stupidity. I find small talk painful because of a belief that no-one would anything I say interesting so stand there silently at the edge of the circle.

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