Sunday, 15 July 2018

Musing of a Clergy Child by Nell Goddard



This book made me say “yes absolutely” and “wtf” in equal measure…

There are different sections …

It starts with a poem - Clergy child’s lament
“I didn’t choose it
you called my parents to it …
‘Incarnational ministry’ they call it
‘Invasion of personal space’ I respond …”

But the end point is being drawn into the calling too – the experience of some but not most Clergy Children – for most the lament goes on, the Church has blinded them to the God it claims to represent.

So we have Tips for Clergy Children – for the most part I agreed with these - the life of a child in a vicarage is a vibrant but at times problematic – Nell’s parents seems to run a very “open house” policy, my didn’t but we still lacked private space. Clergy should have professional boundaries between them and “the parish” if not for their own sake, then at the very least for the sake of their children.

Next were Letters – of these most powerful was “A letter for when the church has hurt you” and from another Letter “ vicars are human too, they often end up listening to the one who shouts the loudest and forget to hear the quiet voice of their child, just as needy but drowned out by the din of parishioners’ pastoral problems.” - but while acknowledging this pain they all end up on a breezy “Jesus loves you” tone.

Finally Musings – which I think had little to do with being a clergy child, but had the same paradox of talking of the deep pain many feel but somehow ending up very Churchy and the sense that if you just love Jesus a little more your problems will go away.

I know this is probably unfair but as a clergy child I don’t just carry scars thanks to the Church but a few, still, unhealed wounds. I celebrate that Nell has found a place deep within the Church, but I guess I want to read the same book written by one of the many Clergy Children that remain so beaten up by the Church that they can’t get across the threshold…

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