This book made me
say “yes absolutely” and “wtf” in equal measure…
There are different
sections …
It starts with a
poem - Clergy child’s lament
“I didn’t choose
it
you called my
parents to it …
‘Incarnational
ministry’ they call it
‘Invasion of
personal space’ I respond …”
But the end point is
being drawn into the calling too – the experience of some but not
most Clergy Children – for most the lament goes on, the Church has
blinded them to the God it claims to represent.
So we have Tips for
Clergy Children – for the most part I agreed with these - the life
of a child in a vicarage is a vibrant but at times problematic –
Nell’s parents seems to run a very “open house” policy, my
didn’t but we still lacked private space. Clergy should have
professional boundaries between them and “the parish” if not for
their own sake, then at the very least for the sake of their
children.
Next were Letters –
of these most powerful was “A letter for when the church has hurt
you” and from another Letter “ vicars are human too, they often
end up listening to the one who shouts the loudest and forget to hear
the quiet voice of their child, just as needy but drowned out by the
din of parishioners’ pastoral problems.” - but while
acknowledging this pain they all end up on a breezy “Jesus loves
you” tone.
Finally Musings –
which I think had little to do with being a clergy child, but had the
same paradox of talking of the deep pain many feel but somehow ending
up very Churchy and the sense that if you just love Jesus a little
more your problems will go away.
I know this is
probably unfair but as a clergy child I don’t just carry scars
thanks to the Church but a few, still, unhealed wounds. I celebrate
that Nell has found a place deep within the Church, but I guess I
want to read the same book written by one of the many Clergy Children
that remain so beaten up by the Church that they can’t get across
the threshold…
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