Monday, 10 October 2016

Messy Togetherness by Martyn Payne



I will begin by putting my hand up to the fact that there is something about “Messy Church” that grates for me. I seem to have a similar reaction to mention of Messy Church as Miranda Hart has to her on-screen Mother declaring “Such fun!”...

However Messy Church is clearly a valuable vehicle for organising the energy of churches towards engaging with new people and therefore it should be commended, but that does not excluded the possibility to question and to probe this book, and perhaps the wider concepts.

This book, one of a number published to deepen the understanding of those providing Messy Church, looks particularly at the “intergenerational” element of Messy Church, that they are not events for “Children” but for “All-Ages”. I guess there are those out there that don't understand this point and will benefit from having it explained at length – but if you get the point that successful communities bring people together rather than segregating them you will probably feel like a grandmother being taught to suck eggs.

While Messy Church is big on intergenerational engagement, that parents/grandparents should be doing the craft/eating/worhsiping along with their children, the model is firmly based around families. Payne states at one point that Messy Church “is definitely not just a church for children and their carers” and will include unaccompanied adults (children must be accompanied as it is not child care). However, other than those that are helping run the event I find it hard to imagine an adult feeling engaged in the activities if they are not with a child. I had this sense a throughout the book, but when I got to the session outlines at the end it was really confirmed, even as someone that likes “craft” I would feel monumentally conspicuous participating in any of the sessions described without co-opting a child as cover. This does not invalidate Messy Church, but I think perhaps it would be better for them to temper their claims to have a universal model.

There were also some points where Payne's tone seemed to be paternalistic, even patronising. For example, he reflects that the families that will be coming will increasingly be “messy”, by which he means differing from the “standard” Mum and Dad, who married before having children, and haven't got divorced. They might be single parents, they might be step-children, and so on. He is telling the reader that for Messy Church to be a success they need to be ready to welcome and embrace this range of family set-ups, which is all to the good, but there is something about the way he expresses this that suggests someone living in a middle-class bubble about 30 years behind the times. While the message is that you do Messy Church with those that come, not to or at them, I do wonder how often that ideal is missed.

At the end of the book is a “health check for a Messy Church”, which is 4 pages of mostly inane questions, but within that list there were 4 which caught my eye and I think should perhaps be printed at the end of every order of service...
- What made you go “wow”?
- What made you wince?
- What made you wonder?
- What made you worry?
… I think these would have a provocative power, as all to often most people's response to all of these would be “nothing”, are we brave enough to risk finding out that the our worship leaves even those that come indifferent?

No comments:

Post a Comment